August 17, 2008

maya's tale part one

maya will be five tomorrow and i thought that i would share the story that led up to her being the love of our life (one of 3).  
5 years ago last april,  after 10 years of infertility woes and 8 years of me begging dave to adopt, he took me out to dinner and told me that it was time.  yay!  i will never forget that night at the black angus.  we decided to start immediately and knew exactly the way we would go.  we are not wealthy people and private adoption was not an option.  we had taken foster parenting classes a few years earlier and then dave didn't feel like it was time we knew that would be the way we would go.  mady was 11 and we felt that we could take an older child. we knew that there were many many older (5-9 yr. olds) children throughout the country that needed good homes. older kids generally have a few problems and they are harder to place. i had been surfing the net for a year and coming to him with little faces...some people shop online, not me, i was on every foster-adopt website in the country looking at children for hours on end.  so i knew exactly what to do.  i contacted the state the next day and they had a class that was just starting in delta...a drive i know....but it was an accelerated class so it would only take us  4 or 5 days, i can't remember for sure.  we took those classes and even spent a romantic night in some lovely (not) hotel in delta one friday night.  we graduated from our class and were one step closer to foster parenting.  next was the background check which, yes, we flew through with flying colors.  then the home check and the visits with licensing and our little helper lady...i can't remember her exact title...but she was there to help us if we needed anything.  it was a process but then we were licensed!  yay!
as i had already spent hours online i knew all of the kids that were legally free for adoption in the state of utah and had read each little story over and over.  we had decided that we couldn't take anyone over the age of 9 and it had to be a girl because she and mady would have to share a bedroom.  so that had narrowed the search.  it all came down to one beautiful little sweetheart.  she even  had one of the names that i had chosen for a girl.  it was kismet.  she actually even kind of looked like me...thick, blonde, wavy hair and green eyes with thick eyebrows.  i got mady and dave involved and they agreed that we should definately contact her social worker.  i tried and tried and tried.  i left message after message and never could get a response back.  finally i got an invitation in the mail for a little meet and greet that the adoption exchange was having  and she was going to be there.  dave was not able to go so mady and i went and met all of the kids.  we both felt sure though that this little one was the one.  i talked to her social worker and she didn't know why she hadn't gotten back to me...she pretty much acted like she had no clue what i was even talking about...a few weeks later that would make more sense to me....heavenly father knows what he's doing.  so i gave her my information and  she told me more about this little girl and her issues.  nothing we couldn't handle so i told her to please contact me and we could move forward.  nothing.  i heard nothing....


Adam and Kristina said...

Ooooooh! Great way to get people to come back to your blog! Can't wait for the rest of the story!

I really admire people who adopt older children from the FC system. It's not easy at all. Like you said, most older children, older than infants, really, have a lot of emotional and psychologial issues.

In fact, a woman commented on my blog a while ago, and her blog is about her adopted FC children. That led me to about a group of 4 blogs, all of women who are either foster parents, or adoptive parents. It's been heartbreaking to read some of their stories.

Rachel H. said...

GEESH, IN SUSPENSE OVER HERE...ya think you could finish this story so I can not be sitting on the edge of my seat?!?!

Mindy said...

You can't leave us hanging like that!!! I look at foster kids websites every once in awhile... in fact, I was looking last night, and fell in love with 4 Cambodian siblings. Sigh. I just have no idea where we'd put them in our house... you've seen it! Plus, they're in California, and I don't even know how all the foster parenting to adoption thing works.

I can't wait to read the rest of your story!!

Anonymous said...

Great cliff hanger sis! I can't believe I've not heard this story before.

I'm tuning in ... for the rest of the story.

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