August 13, 2010

crumbly...


well, so.  july was a rough month.
my world did a little crumbling down...
nothing we won't recover from.
but when my world crumbles i tend to crumble with it.
oh i still function...just not well.
damn the depression gene!
when the depression sets in then {poof} there goes all my ambition.
just. like. that.
but now i am manic.
manic is sometimes a good thing. ;D
i am in the middle of redoing a bathroom, redoing a playhouse, getting things ready
for the show,  getting kiddos ready for school,  trying to stay up on laundry and cleaning...
you get the picture.

today, however, is a momentous day.
i am just now waiting for the oldest to arrive back home so that we can move her away to school.
of course, she's coming right back with me because she has to work and have
her wisdom teeth removed.
but she is still on her way out into the big wide world.
i am a happy camper.
18 is a very, very, very hard age.
i mean on me.
world. crumbling. 18.
and as forest gump says, "that's all i have to say about that."

so off she goes.
they are here for 18 yrs.
consuming all of everything you have...physically, emotionally, financially.
then they are just gone.
oh i know she'll be back but here's the thing.
have you every noticed that when they start kindergarten they are never the same?
i have a sneaking suspicion that this will be the case with college.
she'll never truly live here again and have it be the same.
she'll just be staying at her parents house.

this is one of those life changing days for a mom.
and they don't get it.
and your husband doesn't get it.
thank heavenly father that there are millions of other moms who totally get it!
and that one of them is my big sister.
and she is the best to listen and talk to about all this shtuff.
and we get to go to the farmers market tomorrow.

this has been one long rambling post and i'm sorry bout that.

i did find this picture and wanted to share it because it is amazing the amount of shit that
one 18 yr old can shove into a tiny little bedroom.  this is what i feel like we are doing today.


 
happy friday!
my middle one is going to ride a sheep and chase a greased pig tonight...
that will make this day sooo much better!!

7 comments:

Mindy said...

Oh, Marci... I just love you to pieces. I'm sorry you've had such a rough month, and I wish I would've known and been there for you. It was so good to see you for a few minutes on Wednesday, and I know it was a stressful time for you, so I appreciate your graciousness even more. I don't like to think very much about that going away to college age coming. I want my kids to grow up and become self sufficient and find their own way in life, but it is such a change... and things never ever are the same. That's hard to know that you can't ever go back. Well, just hug your little ones a little tighter and remember that you'll still have darling girls at home when all of my kids are grown and gone. ;)

Felicia said...

This post made me cry. I'm sitting here staring at my 4 day old baby and feeling like he'll be grown and gone tomorrow! Where does the time go?

I hope all goes well with the show, and that your August will be less crumbly.

griffin&gretchen said...

i can't believe it. seriously.
and speaking from the perspective of someone who has recently grown up and moved away, now is the time that she'll miss you and take notice to how much her family and mother do for her ;)

annie said...

My father in law commented the other day about my oldest being 13. He told me "One of my daughters left for college at 17 and never came back after that. She did school year round and then got married, and then she was gone. That could be only 4 years away for you." I was blue about it for DAYS! Sometimes motherhood is so hard and yet it's all so short! Good luck with all the change.

Kristina P. said...

Good luck, Marci!

Ginny said...

Love ya! :)

This and That Creations said...

I hear ya and know how you feel...my boy came home from his mission last week, it's good to have him home and I'm curious to see where life will take him...when he got back I had all 6 of my children under my roof once again and it gives me such a peaceful feeling...we are truly blessed to be moms...love your blog, it's soooo good!

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