March 29, 2011

remembering the love...

when maya was about 3 i said to dave...
wouldn't it be cool if we could videotape everything she does?
she is so cute and everything she does is so cute.

now this little one is four...
i wish i could tape everything she does everyday.
she's so cute right now.

she just said sugar farts to make herself smile.
yeah,  that's how we roll around here.

if we could just tape everything,
 then when they hit around this age...

and they throw a fit in the middle of donut read day
at the school and they are sassy and they cause
you great grief. you could go back and know again 
why you adore them.  why it is that they have your heart 
just in the place you need it to get through all the stuff.
it helps you really appreciate it when they come back 
after you drop them off to school because they forgot to 
do the most important thing.  kiss you goodbye. 
your heart is so willing to accept that even if they are a pill
a good portion of the time.  because you would
be able to have all those memories of 3 close at hand.

then there is this age...

when they are embarking on the grand adventure of life.
then you really could use that video.
of when they were young and sweet and innocent.
when you could pick out their clothes and
all the decisions they made were simple.
when you didn't have to watch them make 
the decisions that maybe you wouldn't want them to make.
or when they start on their own path and maybe
it isn't the path you had chosen for them but it is
the path that they want to take.
then you just have to cross your fingers and hope
beyond all hopes that it is the path that
brings them more happiness then they could ever know.
that video would be so helpful right about then.

or even when they are this age...

and they have their own thoughts about things.
life has shaped them into the person that they are.
maybe their life isn't what you think it should be.
but it is. 
 and you have to love them and accept it for what it is.
that they are their own person.
and they are a good person even if they aren't 
living the life you think they should.
can you imagine how great it would be to have
that video and remember that you shaped them?
that they were little and cute.
that they said funny things, 
and made funny faces and were innocent.

i think so.
i think it would be amazing.
we have to just rely on memories.
i don't know about you but my memory
is on the fritz.
i can remember certain things
but i want to remember every detail.
every funny thing, every cute thing,
every little innocent thought about the world.
that would be great right now.

but i guess i just have to appreciate the little one.
i have to write as much down as i can remember 
and enjoy all the moments i can with her.

and the middle one...
i have to help her through the fits,
and cherish all the funny moments
and be amazed by all she is learning.
she's a smart one.

that oldest one...
i have to let her fly.
i have to support whatever decisions she makes.
i have to be here for her through thick and thin.
and love her unconditionally.

as far as that old lady up there...
i have to be brave.
i have to live my life to the fullest 
and live every single day.
and be joyful for the great blessing
that i have been given to be a mother
to those remarkable ladies up there.
i have to be proud that i have my own thoughts.
that i have lived a life that has shaped me
into a caring, compassionate, 
and yes, sometimes, wise woman.
and look forward to all the amazing
 memories yet to come!

hope you have a fabulous day!


Noelle said...

This was beautiful!

I love you and your blog!

the WINTERS family! said...

I agree with Noelle!

bri said...

i've read this before today. i am only commenting now.

amen, really. i keep coming back to read this, over and over and over.



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